Forgive Yourself

Total Forgiveness

I wondered over Jesus’ statement, “… if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” I’m already forgiven through faith in His death on the cross, his sacrifice for my sins. Even the apostle John wrote that if we confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive our sins (I John 1:9). But here, forgiveness is conditional.

After reading Total Forgiveness by R. T. Kendall, I’ve come away with a better understanding. Simply put, our Father will not overlook our failure to forgive. God's forgiveness is freely received, yet provided at great cost. The Holy Spirit is grieved over our lack of appreciation, evidenced by our refusal to freely give this same forgiveness.

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice (Ephesians 4:30-31, NIV). 

Bitterness acts as a dam, hindering the flow of fellowship with the Father, holding back the streams of peace and joy.  

Forgiving Yourself

The struggle to forgive others is constant, but the greater struggle may be to forgive ourselves. Much of the resentment we hold is rooted in our own failures, whether real or supposed. We regret our decisions, ache over our failures, resent our limitations, and may even blame ourselves for the negative actions of those we love.

But total forgiveness includes forgiving ourselves.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:32, NIV).

God wills for us to extend kindness and compassion to those who have hurt us, and He desires that we extend this same forgiveness to ourselves. Only then will the blessedness of fellowship with the Father freely flow through our lives.