Ordinary Moments, Extraordinary God
***The ladies of my church hosted a Mothers and Daughters Tea recently. This is a transcript of our speaker’s message. Used with Permission by Valerie Moore.
I will be sharing with you my spiritual journey of some ordinary days and times in my life, where an extraordinary God was moving behind the scenes. Although today I have a close walk with the Lord, it wasn’t always that way.
In my 20’s I began to battle severe depression due to circumstances in my life. I felt like I was falling into a bottomless black pit and there was no way out except to end my life. The enemy had convinced me that my children and family would be much better off without me.
You see, on the outside I could put on a smile—like nothing was wrong—and go through the motions of life. But on the inside I was dying. My life was being suffocated by darkness. Darkness that cannot be explained by words, but it was as Jesus said, the thief comes to steal, and to kill and to destroy.
I’d made a plan. The 4th of July weekend was a week away. I knew my children would be gone that weekend, and I had planned on ending my life while they were away.
I was a stay-at-home mom taking care of my children and babysitting other children, and I had decided earlier to apply for a job. I finally heard from the company. They offered me the job, and my start date was July 2nd. To accept the job, I’d need daycare.
July 2nd, I took my children to daycare and when I dropped off my son, who was 3 at the time, he said, “Mommy be back” and I told him yes “Mommy will be back”, and on my way to work those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that if I went through with ending my life mommy would never be back.
I remember crying all the way to work and saying repeatedly God help me. God had used my son’s words to stop me from committing suicide. Although I cried out to God that day, I didn’t surrender my life to him.
My dad and mom invited my husband and me to a Christmas play at a nearby church, and we agreed to go. At that Christmas play God moved, and by the end of the show I had filled out a card and committed my life to God. I’m so thankful for my dad inviting us to the play, and for all his prayers throughout the years, as I know they brought me into the Kingdom. Even though I surrendered my life that night, it was sometime before my life began to change.
My husband and I attended a “Purpose Driven Life” study by Rick Warren and during the study I came to realize that my life has a purpose, and that God was not surprised by my birth; in fact, he expected it. And that long before I was conceived by my parents, I was conceived in the mind of God. He thought of me first. It isn’t fate, chance, or a coincidence that I’m breathing at this very moment. I’m alive because God created me. Psalms 138:8 (NIV) says “The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me”.
God has made us for a reason, he also decided when we would be born and how long we would live. He planned the days of our life in advance. Psalm 139:16 (LB) says “You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book!”.
God planned where and when we would be born for his purpose. God left no detail to chance. He planned it all. Acts 17:26 (NIV) says “From one man he made all the nations, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he marked out their appointed times in history and the boundaries of their lands.” Nothing in our life is by chance. It’s all for a purpose.
He has a reason for everything he creates. Every plant and every animal was planned by God, and every person was designed with a purpose in mind. God made us for a reason, and our life has profound meaning.
In the study I also learned that many people are driven by resentment and bitterness, and that resentment always hurts us more than it does the person we resent. Instead of releasing our pain through forgiveness, we rehearse it over and over in our mind. Resentment and bitterness are like poison in our body. It’s the poison we drink hoping the other person will die.
God showed me that I was holding onto unforgiveness, and bitterness, and I knew in my heart I had to let it go, as Ephesians 4:32 says Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Yet in my flesh, I was struggling to let it go.
One day I said to God, “There’s no way I can let go of this bitterness and unforgiveness. You must do it.” In that moment the enemy’s chains of bitterness and unforgiveness were broken, and I realized “who am I not to forgive, when Jesus has forgiven me”. By God’s spirit I was able to let it go.
Zechariah 4:6 says, “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty”.
Since 2020 our family has been in a spiritual battle that started when our grandson JP was born in December of 2020 with a rare liver disease called biliary atresia. JP was born without bile ducts and the bile wasn’t draining from his liver, which caused his liver to fail.
At 6 weeks old he had his first surgery the Kasai procedure. The doctors created bile ducts to help the bile drain from his liver, this surgery has only a 33% chance of working. JP continued to get sick with cholangitis, which is caused by a bacterial infection, and the doctors determined that JP needed a liver transplant.
There have been many times where I have felt beat down by the enemy, questioned God “why” “why does my daughter and grandson have to go through this?” As a mother, my entire being wanted to fix everything for my daughter and grandson.
I continued to pray for strength, strength to stay strong for my daughter, strength to place my daughter and JP in God’s hands and trust Him—which is the best thing I can do for them.
JP had his liver transplant last year on March 15, 2022, and has been flourishing ever since. We saw God move in so many ways and provide so many miracles along the way. God has been so good during this journey. Psalm 136:4 says - Give thanks to him who alone does mighty miracles. His faithful love endures forever.
During this battle with JP, I also entered my own spiritual battle 14 months ago. In January 2022 I contracted COVID as many people throughout the world have. My symptoms were very mild and didn’t immediately affect me, however within 10 days I entered what is now known as long haul COVID symptoms.
I began experiencing severe neurological symptoms. I had severe numbness, tingling and pinning pricking sensations throughout my entire body. It felt like pieces of glass were being stabbed into every area of my body. These symptoms made it very difficult to sit, stand or to lay down. I also began dealing with severe spinning, floating, and imbalance issues.
Several times a day whether I was sitting, standing, or laying down the room would spin around like I was on the tilt-a-whirl. I had to hang on to things to navigate myself throughout my house and was unable to drive. My eyes also became affected, as I began having flashes of colored lights, and flickering of lights in my vision.
This all occurred in a very short period. My days of everyday routines and daily activities came to a sudden stop. I was no longer living life. My days were now marked as survival days, since it took everything I had to survive a day.
I continued to work, as this was a driving force that kept me going, but I was no longer living life. My husband, who stood by my side faithfully, and was working full-time, was now doing all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. I spent most of my time lying in bed trying to get some type of relief from the pain and spinning.
Before my diagnosis I saw several different doctors and had several different tests done. Each time my tests came back normal, which was a relief, but I still had no answer as to what was wrong with me. I felt darkness settling in, only this time it was a different type of darkness than that of depression.
1 Peter 5:8-9 says. Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. I literally felt like my life was being devoured.
I reached out to several faith-filled family members and a select handful of people in my church and told them what I was dealing with and asked for prayer, but I felt God tell me to not just ask a select few from my church to pray, but to put myself out on the prayer chain.
I must admit in my prideful flesh there were people that, even though we attended the same church, I didn’t want to know. But God knew this battle was bigger than I could handle on my own and I was going to need them.
You see there was one person who I didn’t want to know. I mean after all, what would she think of me? Which is completely ridiculous! But the enemy has a way of getting into our mind. Now this person is also a very private person, and one day a prayer request came in from this person who was requesting prayer for herself. I can remember thinking, wow, that must have taken her a lot of strength to open herself up and to ask for prayer.
God used me to become an intercessor in prayer for her, asking God to heal her, to bless her summer and give her the ability to do all the things she wanted to do with her family. When our paths crossed in church, I heard God say, “ask her how she’s doing” and before I knew what I saying I said “Hi How are you doing? She kindly answered me, and asked how I was doing?
I opened my heart to her and told her the battle I was in. She encouraged me to put myself on the prayer chain to get more people praying for me. God used her to give me the encouragement I needed to reach out to others and ask them to cover me in prayer, because God knew how big my battle was. She continues to stand faithfully in prayer for me.
During this difficult battle with my health, God has been so faithful and has taught me so much. God has used many different people to stand in prayer with me, to send me cards, books, text messages, videos, worship songs and scriptures that encouraged me at just the right time.
Someone sent me a 45-minute video of scriptures being spoken. I can’t tell you how many days I played those scriptures over and over. Those healing scriptures were a strength to my soul. These scriptures were the light in the darkness of my days, as it took everything I had inside to fight the voice of the enemy and his lies.
Proverbs 4:20-22 says “My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. 21 Do not let them depart from your eyes; Keep them in the midst of your heart; 22 For they are life to those who find them, And health to all their flesh.”
Though I’m still not completely healed, and I never want to go through this again, I can say I’m thankful for having gone through it. It has brought me much closer to God and His word has become life to me. I’m grateful for being able to do the dishes, laundry and cook a meal. I no longer take my everyday routine for granted, as each moment of the day is a gift from God.
And I continue to stand firm on the name of God Jehovah Rapha, The God who has healed me. I continue to stand firm on His word, as Isaiah 53:5 says, “But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes, we are healed.”
Maybe you’re facing what seems like an insurmountable obstacle. It might be a problem too hard to solve, a task beyond your ability, unforgiveness or a situation over which you have no control. Facing such things can make us feel weak, helpless, and vulnerable. But always remember that we have an almighty God, and nothing is too difficult for him.
When you think your living in just ordinary days, in those days is where you will find an extraordinary God.
***The above transcript was used with permission by Valerie Moore.